Thursday, July 24, 2014


    Hello dearest reader, this is Sister Alma Bitches; the current elected Reverend Mother of the Vancouver chapter of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence (god I love typing that ).  I wanted to let you all know that our little Abbey is experiencing a bit of a membership boom at the moment and I have been so impressed with this new group that I am compelled to spread my joy around!

    Back in September 2010 when I started my journey to Fully-Professed status there were also quite a few new members around; about 6 if I recall correctly, 4 of which remain to this day.  So if our founders count as the first wave, and my group was the second, then this new group is the third wave to roll through our Abbey.  There have been members joining in between the waves, and I love them dearly as well, but right now we have six members all in either the Novice or Postulant stage (teetering on the tip of Novicehood) and as a nun who has been very busy these past few years I cannot begin to explain how great it feels to see so many people coming aboard to share in the experience (and work) of being a Sister. 
    So without further ado: 

     Cadet Paladin Pebbles:  Pebbles unofficially joined the Abbey when Sister Tora Wholes did back in the spring of 2012 and after having supported the efforts of the Abbey as a volunteer for over two years he finally officially declared his desire for membership in the fall of 2013.  Pebbles' ability to get things done and take initative on projects that have otherwise stalled have further endeared him to myself and the other members. I tell him daily how much he means to all of us and our work here in Vancouver.  Oh, and I get to be his supporting member too!
     Novice Sister Zahra Nainsaidh (zar-ah nan-zee): Zahra officially joined the Abbey in the summer of 2013 and has become our first bio female member to advance to Novicehood in the Abbey.  Petunia and Bamm Bamm met Zahra while participating in UBC's Out Week and she is currently overseeing our participation in this year's PRIDE Parade as her Novice project.  Zahra's name is tied directly to her faith and lineage; Zahra meaning "enlightened" in Arabic and Nainsaidh meaning "grace" in Scottish Gaelic. Sister Tora is her supporting member.
Zahra Nainsaidh

    Novice Sister Visa Dekline has long been a close friend of Sister Tora Wholes and Cadet Paladin Pebbles and officially declared herself an Aspirant in December of 2013.  Since the beginning of her journey Visa has expressed a willingness to help in any way she can with the planning of upcoming events; more importantly through her actions she demonstrates to us how valuable of an asset she is and will be for many years to come! Sister Tora is her supporting member.
Visa Dekline

    Novice Sister Koo Koo Kachoo declared herself an Aspirant in January of this year and in these short 6 months has stolen the hearts of many a YVR Sister with her calm demeanor and warm energy.  We are so happy to have you Koo Koo and look forward to your involvement in the Abbey! Sister Merry Q is her supporting member.
KooKoo Kachoo

    Postulant Lois Price declared herself an Aspirant in February of this year and has quickly shown she has a Sister in her through her humor and her willingness to pitch in.  If the costume she created for the last Sister Act Singalong is any indication; Lois will be delighting audiences very soon! Sister Petunia is her supporting member.
Lois Price

   Postulant Lucy Caboose has been a member of the Abbey since November 2013 and has impressed the Abbey with her ability to balance her busy secular life with the demanding schedule of the Sisters.  Lucy's excitement for the Sisters is contagious and although she sometimes can be shy she has definitely shown there is more than meets the eye! One to watch ;) Sister Sweet Cherribum is her supporting member.
Lucy Caboose

    As a newly elected Reverend Mother I was expecting my workload to increase with my lofty new position on the Abbey's board of directors.  I am quickly learning that my new role is to step aside and to let the newer members step into the light, because they are truly the stars of this Abbey.  I have had the opportunity to witness the newer members manifest themselves and do great work within the community and I know that if this is what they are showing this early in their journeys that the best is definitely yet to come.  

Sister Sweet Cherribum (far right) leads the Postualnts and Novices (and Petunia) in a makeup workshop. Sisters learn how to paint their faces early on and use their own funds to do so. 
     If you've ever thought about joining the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence but weren't sure how to go about it; it's as easy as coming to one of our general business meetings (7pm second Wednesday of every month at Qmunity) and/or reaching out to our Mistress of Novices: Sister Petunia Encarnata.  Everyone is welcome, but it's definitely not for everyone.  xo 


Sister Alma Bitches
Reverend Mother
Mistress of Propaganda

Thursday, July 10, 2014


Congratulations to Postulant Koo Koo Kachoo for successfully elevating to Novicehood! It has been a pleasure getting to know her and we all are looking forward to seeing what she will bring to our ever expanding Abbey! Always Joy! xo Reverend Mother Alma


Congratulations to Postulant Lucy Caboose for successfully elevating to Novicehood!  Lucy has worked so hard and been a total pleasure to be around during her process!  Just like with Koo Koo, we're all looking forward to seeing what Lucy's ministry will look like!  Onward! xo Reverend Mother Alma


Please enjoy Paladin Bamm Bamm's recounting of his experiences with the Toronto Sisters during World Pride 2014:

First of all, I didn’t even know that Toronto’s Pride parade would be the last Sunday in June, when I booked my flight back in March. My purpose for travelling to the first capital of Upper Canada, founded by the legendary John Graves Simcoe, was to hang with my homie, Mitch.

“Hey! The pride parade is that weekend!” he said. “Curses,” I thought silently to myself, “there goes a side-trip to Montreal!” I was soon made to realize that this was not just any pride parade; but that Toronto would be hosting North America’s first WORLD PRIDE extravaganza! Moreover, there would be a contingent of Sisters in the parade representing the city’s Abbey of the Divine Wood.

My hosts live just a block away from Church and Wellesley, the epicentre of the gay village. When I arrived late Friday night, Church St. was already closed for several blocks, to accommodate vendors and dance parties shoe-horned into parking lots and city parks. For the next couple of days, I jostled with literally hundreds of thousands of queer and straight Torontonians and visitors, as we celebrated. And what were we celebrating? The fact that we could. The fact that in Canada, we can be sexual minorities and be assured of the full protection of law. Blessed be to those who fought to make that possible, and to those who continue to make it possible – for we can take nothing for granted, ever.

Sunday dawned, as it did throughout my short visit, hot and humid. I trundled down to the offices of Xtra!, located down the street from Maple Leaf Gardens at Carlton and Yonge. There I was greeted by Sister Petunia’s counterpart, Sr. Mary Gold Beaujolais, Mistress of Novices, who ushered me into the washroom (oh my!) I could manifest. There I learned that the Vancouver Abbey would be further represented by Sr. Ethica Slüt!

This was the first time I had manifested in a year and a half, after taking a break to deal with some personal and professional issues. Needless to say, I owe the Toronto Abbey a package of baby wipes. But eventually I applied something to my face which would not totally disgrace the Order.

I met the Mother Superior Abbey, Sr. Twisted Fist, Sr. Eva Extreema, and a bevy of enthusiastic allies and supporters who decided to take the day to come out and march with us. One of them, a burly, butch blond boy in leather, named Johnny, helpfully applied sunscreen to my back. Imagine my shock when I discovered later that he was straight! That creamy application had felt mighty sweet!

We were called to assemble at 1:45; and although we were about ten minutes late, we spent another two hours waiting to march. The scene was controlled chaos, with dozens of contingents in various states of dress (and undress) awaiting the call. There, I was reunited with Sr. Ethica, who had been accompanied from Hamilton with another McMaster medical student. As we prayed for a thunderstorm to relieve the oppressive heat, Johnny came running up to announce that Justin Trudeau was just down the street.

The Sisters know a photo op when we scent it, and the girls gathered up their skirts, and sprinted in their heels down Jarvis St., where we saw a lovely vision in a pink shirt shaking hands. Mr. Trudeau could not have been more friendly and gracious, as we clustered around him for a photograph. As I shook his hand, I looked into his big, moist, blue eyes – and yes, I confess, my heart melted just a smidgeon.
Eventually, we got the call to group up. We were fortuitously positioned as the meat between the “Polyamory Pride” and “Foreskin Pride” sandwich. The leader of the Foreskin Pride group, an attractive bearded gentlemen, was filled with zeal for the cause. Pantless, and sporting a fine specimen of the body part whose involuntary excision he was opposing, he stopped every ten metres or so on the route, pumped his fist in the air, thrust his hips forward, and cried out “Foreskin pride! YEAH!!!” to the woops and cheers of the parade-watchers.

The parade was immense in terms of participants and observers. As we headed down Yonge St., the crowd was five or six deep in places. We found out later that the parade itself was five hours long, had 12,000 participants, and had tens of thousands of spectators along the route. The Sisters were, as always, received enthusiastically. The nuns schmoozed with the onlookers, and Johnny sent a thrill up many a spine with his occasional flogging demonstrations.

As the parade wound down, awash in perspiration, smiles, and a giddy sense of joy, we headed back to the office. The Sisters had again manifested joy in Hogtown, and the ministry was received in kind.

written by Paladin Bamm Bamm
photo credit: unknown

Wednesday, June 25, 2014


The Vancouver Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence are very happy to hear of the success of the recent rural outreach tour completed by "Out in Schools."  Last month the Sisters had given $1000 to fund the trip and after reading the April newsletter from "Out in Schools" it is clear that this was a very important journey that needed to be made.  Thank you to Out in Schools for reaching out to the entire province of British Columbia.  Please follow the link and read the article.

xo Sister Alma Bitches

Link to April newsletter

Thursday, June 19, 2014


This past Tuesday night at the Junction Pub on Davie Street the Vancouver Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence and special guests: the legendary Carlotta Gurl and the lovely and talented Brooke Davis presented what has become somewhat of a signature event for the Sisters.  This was the third time Sister Alma had staged the event in the last 11 months and to her delight two thirds of the standing room only audience were seeing it for the first time.  Carlotta got things off to a joyful start by channeling Kylie Minogue in a Victoria's Secret angel lingerie getup for her rendition of "All the Lovers."  Sister Alma came out during the bridge and gave Carlotta her wings in honor of her becoming the Sisters first "angel" (see "Our Saints" section of the blog for more info).
Sister Sweet Cherribum serving face.
The final total for the night was $590 raised through donations at the door and through raffle.  Big thanks to JQ Clothing and to Independent Grocer for providing great raffle prizes for the night; the Sisters were able to raise over a third of the final count through raffle alone!  To date, Sister Act Singalongs have raised $2,000 for local charities and programs.

Thank you to all who made it out and a huge thank you to Carlotta and Brooke for being our amazing guests for the evening.  Special shout out to Graham Spence Photography and Fine Arts for being on hand to document the evening. Follow the link to the album of pictures and like his page while you are at it!
xo Sister Alma